Colin, thanks. You said:
I didn't like so
much, stoplights morphing into bat's eyes. When I think of bats I think of
something frail, with small dark eyes, relying on echolocation rather than
sight. Or did you refer to vampires in a horror film? In which case it drops
horrific associations into the poem which doesn't quite fit with what comes
before and after, with the posssible exception of a horrific accident. Or
was it a clever play on "cat's eyes" which do reflect light, in both usages?
*
The bat line is difficult
Night fog so thick on the Bay bridge,
> stoplights morphed into bat's eyes,
I've moved it and dropped the pileup line so its place is less in the poem,
but this image is mentioned by most readers as an issue. I need to think of
an alternative. Right now,
stoplights smaller than rabbit eyes
but I don't like that either. Some kind of critter will come to me someday.
Thanks.
Gary
Dec Byron Sacre at: http://gardawg.homestead.com/gardawg.html... Writer's
Hood at http://www.writershood.com/... Poets for Peace.... ˇPoemas sí, balas
no!
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