Hello Christina,
This is an intriguing piece. I want to spend more time thinking about it, but first reactions are: it starts like a John Ashberry poem, the same sort of tone and sense of suddenly being in the middle of.... something, narrative would sound too coherent. I love the flow and energy of the start, and the inventiveness of the language as far as Pluto. From there to patchwork I feel the rhythm flags a bit and the language just becomes words beginning with `pī. From panic to the end you pick up the vitality and the language works for me again. There are some great jokes in here too. `You havenīt lost the plotī I mean, no I really havenīt, thereīs a plot, is there? And the final couplet, `itīs perfectly plainī yup, I need all the encouragement I can get.
Itīs good, itīs very good. If I come up with any other thoughts Iīll send them later.
Best wishes, Mike
--- Alkuperäinen viesti ---
Pretend
You haven't lost the plot. We won't pursue perception
or prescribe Prozac.
You have problems: palpitations in your pelvis.
Pomegranates are pink and full of pips.
Let's proceed on the premise that a planet (probably Pluto)
is placed in the 'p' position. Pots on planks,
plates of pork and potato. There's a pinch in this particular
patchwork:
the prerequisite is panic. Pain's the panacea.
Perhaps we're prying? Please,
we're not pimps or policemen
and it's perfectly plain:
you're poised on a pin.
christina fletcher
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