Hi Marilyn,
With the "regrets" bit... I'm amazed how the reader (who's often a writer
themselves) often sniffs out things that have been added later! But that's
no reason to exclude them! I guess, if this poem were, mine I'd probably
think of a more positive alternative and hold the totaly positive one back
waiting/hoping someone else will make a comment too!
I caught the link with the word ragged in the last line!
Perhaps I don't see "ragged" as being so negatively weighted... In my mind I
link it to phrases like "the raggle taggle gypsies O" more than to the word
"rag" - which, to me, sounds negative! Oh, the nuances of meaning and
association!
And I've been listening to the only phrase of sitar music I've got (from a
scratchy old Beatles LP) but I seem to remember listening to a Ravi Shankar
LP many, many years ago... Turning up at a friends house with a clutch of
LPs, then sloping off to a bedroom until I had to run for the last bus home!
It's such a fine poem!
Bob
>From: Marilyn Injeyan <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new poem: Relics (Bob)
>Date: Thu, 12 Dec 2002 19:44:08 EST
>
>In a message dated 12/12/02 7:51:51 AM Pacific Standard Time,
>[log in to unmask] writes:
>
>Thank you Bob, glad you enjoyed this. I appreciate your careful reading
>and
>comments. I remembered the sitar as undulating, but I'll have to listen
>again as memory can easily become distorted over time. The idea of regrets
>was introduced late, I realize now, though the ragged journey echoes the
>idea
>(or is that too much of a stretch?) Take care.
>
>Marilyn
>
> >
> > Hi Marilyn,
> > I'm liking reading this. Each time I've read it through I've discovered
> > more. (Do sitar's unduluate? I guess they have volume pedals, but I
>seem
> > to
> > remember them trilling more than anything else...)
> > And if you hadn't mentioned that she'd had regrets to be wrested away
>from
> > I
> > don't think they would have been important to the mood she's found
>herself
> > in (are they important to mention?)
> > I'm relaxing through each image and the last line... "survive the ragged
> > journey" makes me want to fling an arm straight into the air and say
> > "Yesssss!"
> > Bob
> >
>
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