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Subject:

Re: New Sub - immaterial

From:

Bob Cooper <[log in to unmask]>

Reply-To:

The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>

Date:

Wed, 11 Dec 2002 12:11:25 +0000

Content-Type:

text/plain

Parts/Attachments:

Parts/Attachments

text/plain (154 lines)

Hi Roger,
Wow! So many!! And so many of them are said so differently too!
Lynn, I'm thinking about what you've done a bit more now!!!
Bob






>From: Roger Collett <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: New Sub - immaterial
>Date: Wed, 11 Dec 2002 12:01:27 -0000
>
>Bob,
>
>I quote here from another list and hope no-one gets upset!
>
> >>>>>>>>START QUOTE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>
>REASONS WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS SO HARD TO LEARN:
>
>1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
>2. The farm was used to produce produce.
>3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
>4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
>5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
>6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
>7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
>present
>the present.
>8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
>9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. (N.B. In UK English 'dived'
>is the correct form.)
>10. I did not object to the object.
>11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
>12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
>13. They were too close to the door to close it.
>14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
>15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into the sewer.
>16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
>17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
>18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
>19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting, I shed a tear.
>20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
>21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
>
>
>
>Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant
>nor
>ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
>
>English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
>Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
>
>We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
>quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
>neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but
>fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, scissors don't sciss, and hammers
>don't ham?
>
>If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One
>goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese? One index, two indices?   What
>about one sheep and many sheep(s)?  Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make
>amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid
>of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't
>preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a
>humanitarian
>eat? Sometimes I think all English speakers should be committed to an
>asylum
>for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite a play and play
>at
>a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and
>feet
>that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a
>wise
>man and a wise guy are opposites?
>
>You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house
>can
>burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and
>in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
>
>English was invented by people, not computers and it reflects the
>creativity
>of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why,
>when
>the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are
>invisible.
>
>
>P.S. Why doesn't BUICK rhyme with QUICK?
>
> >>>>>>>>>END QUOTE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>
>Roger
>
>
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Bob Cooper" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Wednesday, December 11, 2002 11:51 AM
>Subject: Re: New Sub - immaterial
>
>
> > Hi Lynn,
> > I guess working with visual puns is something I've not felt easy about
>when
> > I've done it. And, here, that makes me uneasy coz I also says tears
> > differently when I want what I read to be "a rip in fabric" and then
>when
>I
> > want it to mean "what comes from my eye" so I sort of get myself
>confused
> > when I say it. Sorry.
> > I guess with other eye-rhymes (words that look the same but mean
>different
> > things) there's no difference in pronounciation. Or is there?
> > Bob
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > >From: Lynn Owen <[log in to unmask]>
> > >Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
> > >To: [log in to unmask]
> > >Subject: New Sub -  immaterial
> > >Date: Sun, 8 Dec 2002 01:23:39 -0000
> > >
> > >Thoughts and reactions welcome.
> > >Lynn
> > >
> > >immaterial
> > >
> > >I no longer question cotton or velvet
> > >the cuts make the pattern
> > >the threads keep it together
> > >tears can always be mended
> >
> >
> > _________________________________________________________________
> > The new MSN 8: smart spam protection and 2 months FREE*
> > http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail


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