Hi Philip,
I think I'd prefer this poem to be about an actual (even if invented) piano 
tuner. (I think it probably is about one - but the poem doesn't really 
mention one I can see!) I think I'd enjoy seeing someone in the piece - and 
all the comments, the humour, would probably fit without too much trouble.
How to do that? Just be less reflective and start with something like:
She/He meets flat G flat minors... (etc)
Or you "might" be able to still use the first stanza first and start:
She/He meets dissonance... (etc)
But then you may find that the shape of the poem (in 3-line-stanzas) might 
want to change as well.






>From: Philip Burton <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: new sub: piano tuner
>Date: Fri, 6 Dec 2002 19:01:18 +0000
>
>    piano tuner
>
>1.
>
>Is there a kick to be had
>from dissonance, a perverse
>professional thrill
>
>in meeting flat G# minors
>almost a semitone off?
>Cerebrospinally
>
>awful dins (to us mortals)
>recalled with arcane pleasure?
>A database kept
>
>of all the shite notes to hit
>in the, otherwise dull, Tuners'
>Convention?
>
>
>2.
>
>how do you break into tuning?
>Have a good ear, my Mother said -
>implying
>
>the other ear is bad, prefers
>Edmundo Ross to The Three Tenors
>and hangs out in bars
>
>Piano tuners don’t get to play a
>tune at all, do they? Or if they do
>it’s incidental
>
>The tuner must be thinking -
>if only my good ear were one of a pair
>I could be a musician per se
>
>
>
>
>
>
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