The colours of disappointment in stanza one. Tatty, respectable and
poignant.
Not sure about the 'her' in S2
'hoarse' coming the line after 'horseman' seems a pun too far. Swapping some
of the terms around might solve that one.
I like the geese saying boo, but have problems wrapping my cortex around the
last line.
Hope that helps
Terri )O(
-----Original Message-----
From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On
Behalf Of grasshopper
Sent: 25 November 2002 20:33
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: New sub: The horseman
The horseman
Her eyes are bleached by disappointment;
the years have been unkind.
She brushes down her oatmeal skirt
and checks her lipstick in the mirror,
careful not to meet her gaze.
She saw a film once, years ago,
when her irises were deep with hope,
where death was a cloaked rider
mounted on a great black steed.
Now she is afraid she will open the door
not to a horseman but to empty dark,
and a snort of hoarse laughter -
no steam from a stallion's nostrils.
She looks at the world wearily, warily,
expecting geese to say boo
and swans to duck like addled eggs.
grasshopper
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