Hi Arthur,
This looks fine to me apart from your ear remembering and the cool arbour
line. Take them out and the poem will feel a lot better for the surgery.
bw
James
>From: Arthur <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: new sub: The Fireworks Code
>Date: Fri, 4 Jan 2002 10:33:47 -0000
>
>
>The Fireworks Code.
>
>
>
>A bubble of laughter
>
>my ear remembered.
>
>I turned
>
>and recalled,
>
>in the line of her cheek
>
>and chin,
>
>how I had assailed her once
>
>on castle walls
>
>while the world passed below;
>
>held her hand beside the Avon;
>
>moments in a cool arbor.
>
>
>
>Thought to speak,
>
>thought again,
>
>drank my coffee quickly
>
>and left,
>
>letting the crowd dissolve me.
>
>
>
>Stand well back
>
>and NEVER return to a firework
>
>after it has been lit,
>
>it could explode in your face.
>
bw
James
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