Philip,
Not quite sure of your rhythmic intentions here.
Shades of "Night Mail" in part, but inconsistent in the scansion.
Roger
----- Original Message -----
From: "Philip Burton" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, November 24, 2002 3:09 PM
Subject: new sub: Candle in the Wind (second draft)
Candle in the Wind
Male glow-worms, attracted by the light of
candles, come into the parlour.
- Gilbert White - 1791
You cuddle in your city sprawl but I get no sex at all
Alone, I glow, outshone by avenues of sodium
I wag my luminary tail, supposed to interest the male
Blighter couldn't see me now if I were neon-powered
He has wings, the hard case, burns up the marketplace
wasting sexual tensions on Edison's inventions
making sad and frenzied love to spotlight, arc and flood
On one of these high voltage dates, he simply incinerates
So I make, frustrated, for somewhere under-luminated
Is even this deep railway cutting dark enough for rutting?
I adopt a stationary glow and smell him near, a slow
fuse burning, great searchlight turning, turning
turning toad, or is it weasel? Neither, neither, it's a deisel
eight-o-three, eight-o-three, Waterloo to Coventry
Soft lit Virgin stock, tickety tock, tickety tock
turns his head, metal spark, then the quiet and the dark
_________________________________________________________________
MSN 8 helps eliminate e-mail viruses. Get 2 months FREE*.
http://join.msn.com/?page=features/virus
|