Hello Frank,
This piece worked for me and it grew on me more one second and third readings. You´ve got a nice tone and rhythm to it. I wasn´t so keen on the line `look a long way down´ in stanza2 which seemed a bit pedestrian in comparison with the more imaginative diction of the rest of the poem. The final stanza is great. Reading it aloud it has a wonderful, almost hypnotic or incantatory rhythm.
Best wishes, Mike
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