I liked this very much. For symmetry, you might consider putting a sound or
sensation before cold water? as you have for the other things that are
reminders. I liked the simple sensory details, and the decisiveness of the
ending. I'd put a full stop at the end, since you have punctuated the rest,
and since it is talking about an ending.
Nancy
-----Original Message-----
From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On
Behalf Of Mike Horwood
Sent: Wednesday, 20 November, 2002 6:36 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: New sub Cleansed
Cleansed
These things always reminded him:
cold water hitting the flat bottom of an enamel sink,
the feel of a bar of soap embedded with grit,
the trickle of water conducted along an open gutter
in a bare concrete floor.
These things never failed to remind him of this:
the disinfectant smell of that bar of soap
and of how he had washed his hands of all that
Mike
|