Hi Grassy,
I am torn on this one. I like what you have done in a way in terms of
consistency. Just worried by the more or less necessary archaisms and wonder
if the poem could be devised with a different tone. What Christopher Logue
did with Homer is a suggested model. The more I look, however, I love the
language, though there are just things I cannot quite finger.
bw
James
>From: "grasshopper M.A. Griffiths" <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New Sub: Vix
>Date: Fri, 4 Jan 2002 00:41:08 GMT
>
> Vix
>
>Vix the victim
>Vix the persecuted
>Vix the ancient presence
>torn, tormented, taunted
>labelled vile and verminous
>by a destroying race
>hunted, disinterred,
>killed by close kin, cubs
>clubbed for sport
>I hail
>
>Vix the vigilant
>Vix the predator
>Vix the shadow made flesh
>in town in country on the city streets
>who watches me approaching
>snuffs with berrybright nose
>with the sage, sharp mask
>scans and reads me
>as no threat
>I hail
>
>Vix the prowler
>Vix the valiant
>Vix the cunning heart
>who comes from earth
>deep in treeroots and ferns
>glides russet across the ground
>on dainty feet, half dog, half deer
>with the old wisdom
>in his gaze
>I hail
>
>Vix enduring
>Vix victorious
>Vix the arrow of the land
>ebony tipped and nailed
>autumn apple forest spirit
>call to your brethren
>from shire to shire
>red beast of Albion, wait
>until the king returns
>to greet you
>in your rich dark realm
>
> grasshopper
bw
James
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