I liked this a lot. Rich textured language. I love the slightly frenetic
affirmation of a good time girl voice you have chosen also.
I wonder have you considered pluralising pschosis to psychoses. It enhances
the music, at least to my ear it does.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Perpetua Pullman" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, January 20, 2002 9:32 PM
Subject: New: the Place - for the hyperpoem, Gary
> my Eliot line eventually became this
> crits welcome
> if you can't spot the line, scroll down
> P-P
>
>
> The Place
>
> slack night descends and flings her sequinned shawl
> around the yellow shoulders of the moon
> let us go dancing, raddled as we are,
> lolloping vixens out to make a kill
>
> I'll take the hour, and you may choose The Place
> where yards of leggy girls queue up to spin
> like scanty moths in polyester wings
> flaunting their artless guile in strobic snares
>
> let us revise their adolescent dream
> to swell a progress start a scene or two
> and be unlikely puzzles matched to win
> a south sea bubble, time-share of desire
>
> let us kick off well-heeled conformity
> drink to the love that dare not speak its name
> unhook the satin basque of sanity
> and quench our thirst in duty free psychosis
>
> P-P
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> 'to swell a progress start a scene or two'
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> Perpetua Pullman
>
>
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