In a message dated 11.16.02 9:23:02 PM, [log in to unmask] writes:
<< Struggle's last emotional morning, was [delete emotional? skip was?]
drenched in liquid warmth, an
intoxication without compassion, his
silhouette resembles more than, a man. [enjamb a man into next stanza?]
Down an alley over brick and cement, an
ingrate kite on a windy day, he
stumbled out into an intersection, then
vanished from everyone, except me. [how about placing me on its own stanza/
line?]
* >>
kol tuv, Ryfkah
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