Hi Sally,
This is a really great read. I loved it. I think you control the story-telling aspect excellently, itīs all so beautifully understated. I donīt agree with the other Sally about the ending of the poem. For me this ending works fine, although the word `doī in the last line doesnīt really fit. I donīt think you can just remove it either because that would upset the flow of the line. Can you reword so as to have the same number of syllables and stress pattern? By the way, should the word `sliverī be `slitherī?
Best wishes, Mike
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