Hi Ryfkah,
I want to like this poem more because I like where it's going, the
tensions/feelings it's describing at the end.
But I don't feel I know where it's coming from - I feel as if I want a
location (either in the title or early on in the poem). Then I feel I'll be
able to go with it's words all the better.
Bob
>From: Ryfkah * <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New Poem: Feeling
>Date: Sun, 10 Nov 2002 14:50:21 EST
>
>Feeling
>
>Pin points reach together
>A landscape emerges
>as Sunday in the park
>Silently stubborn he
>refuses to turn the painting
>to view the other side
>I marvel if Seraut's ghost
>sniggers between dots
>I reel a beach umbrella
>LA sunshine beckons frolic
>Musky museum coughs
>He doesn't look at
>me or speak to me
>He simply insists he
>knows the artist's feelings
>
>Ryfkah 11/6/02
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