Hi James,
A bold, and linguistically interesting first foray into sonnetworld.
Many critics over-complicate. Some say there cannot be a humorous S. yet
look at Copland Smith’s. Roger Elkin (Envoi mag.) considers all sonnets
should boast 10 syllable lines, yet ‘reduced sonnets’ are all the fashion,
and I’ve had a 12 syllable S. in PN Review, and won The Hammick Prize in
Liverpool this year with a S. variable 12-ish. Vera Rich (Manifold mag.)
allows only true rhyme. And on and on. Poets have always done what they
wanted with the form, and power to the elbow.
Watch for those elements that work against elegance. Sonnets must have this
– in the same way that a good anecdote has elegance (and, also like a
sonnet, has a punch at the end). By this I mean that it should be polished
no end, like an anecdote is by the re-telling. Remember, “the best words in
the best order”, but add “no unnecessary repetition”. Can you argue for two
‘neither’s?
And, incidently, ‘neither’ applies to two, so have the geese flown? In such
a short dense form, have one eye on the logic of the piece. Some pain in the
arm, like me, will always pick at it.
I reckon the Sonnet should be direct. What does ‘taunt’ mean here? And “The
Spey cast her would be burlesque”?
Anyway, a fascinating start to sonneteering adventures. Well done. More
please.
Philip
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