Hi Arthur,
A fine poem! But I'd cut one or two lines out (the feral snarl of terror/
and warning) I sort of feel the smell is enough!
And "stilled and pale in disbelief/doubted the truth of it" is implied so
much by what's gone before it need not be stated so clearly. Let the reader
do some of the work!
As a final thought (I've just thought it!) the word "flitted" is a very
light word (moths flit) and this guy seems very heavy in comparison to a
moth. I recall Tykes have other meanings for the word "flit" but I'm not
sure how intended any other meanings are...
The title, for me, is also a problem... It's a distancing word (a look up to
know what it means word) and a word I can't associate with the people in
Leeds Market or with anything that comes from the poem. I'd feel much
happier with a word that caught what the poem has caught and didn't push us
off into a dictionary and so lose the actions and vitality of the poem.
Bob






>From: arthur seeley <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New sub: lycanthrope
>Date: Fri, 8 Nov 2002 12:43:23 -0000
>
>             lycanthrope
>
>between the market stalls he loped
>soft pad of unshod feet
>stooped low
>drifted past
>silent swift
>startled shoppers
>shrank away
>stilled and pale in disbelief
>doubted the truth of it
>thin as a whippet
>lank fair hair
>a matted shock
>rank animal reek of him
>feral snarl of terror
>and warning
>parted the people ahead
>hand of uncut nails
>clutched white chicken bones
>against grubby jeans
>ragged to the calves
>he flitted into the shadows
>faded into memory
>pub gossip
>myth


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