Thanks Bob. Really helpful again.
BW
Christine
-----Original Message-----
From: Bob Cooper
To: [log in to unmask]
Sent: 04/11/02 12:26
Subject: Re: old 'pantoum' (the poem)
Hi Christine,
Sorry I've not replied earlier. Life's been busy of late. But I like the
poem a lot ...though I've wondered if it might work just as well without
the
last stanza? I mean it does some original work but I sense the poem is
stronger without it! And it also has a sense that there's a feeling
about it
that shows up as "I really "Need" to say more to get control of this!"
My
thought is that you don't need to say anything more - just let the poem
speak for itself!
Bob
>From: "Bousfield, Christine [CES]" <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: old 'pantoum'
>Date: Wed, 30 Oct 2002 18:23:58 -0000
>
>Dear All
>I keep trying to send this-some might have seen it in another
>place.Comments?
>BW
>Christine
>
>Let Age...
>
>They happened while sleeping,
>hieroglyphs on my face;
>as the shadows were deepening,
>someone else took my place.
>
>Hieroglyphs on my face:
>I'm not long for this earth,
>someone else took my place,
>someone born at my birth.
>
>I'm not long for this earth,
>someone else took my place,
>someone born at my birth
>who looks out of my face.
>
>Someone else took my place,
>I fall out of time,
>she looks out of my face
>and this flesh is not mine.
>
>
>
>
>
> chrisbousfield
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