Hi Perpetua,
Many thanks for your stringent reading of this piece, I find your input
particularly valuable. Letting yourself loose from stylistic habits is great
in a project like this, though another pair of objective eyes are doubly
demanded. I'm glad this has been received reasonably well as I do admire
Eliot however unfashionable
bw
James
>From: Perpetua Pullman <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: Hyperpoem: Talking Of Michelangelo
>Date: Fri, 18 Jan 2002 22:47:07 +0000
>
>the women, James, are coming and going, as if your poem still has at leat
>one foot in the door iamb of Eliot's construction
>
>which is mostly a good thing because, as you say, there is a free
>associativie quality which only needs tempering by the judicious burial of
>some of the deader metaphors
>
>P-P
>
>
>>From: James Bell <[log in to unmask]>
>>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>>To: [log in to unmask]
>>Subject: Hyperpoem: Talking Of Michelangelo
>>Date: Thu, 17 Jan 2002 08:45:38 +0000
>>
>>The beauty of an exercise like this is that you can turn out something
>>quite
>>different from what you usually do. For better or worse everything here is
>>intended, the repetition, the weird rhyme. Just the way it happened.
>>
>>TALKING OF MICHELANGELO
>>
>>has turned desire into whimsical anxiety
>>its comings and goings an iamb of [all kinds of] gossip
>>walking in and out of the grocery store
>>contained {confused syntax? what is contained?}in sealed tins and
>>crackling
>>packets.
>>
>>The acceptance is that potatoes all wear jackets
>>for all transitions involve a version of death.
>>Where snakes shed their skins so do we,
>>among our daily artefacts to prime existence.
>>
>>Outside each door the classes chatter [among themselves]
>>though the boundary between each one never closes.
>>
>>The medicine for each sleeps in separate doses {lovely}
>>unreached until talk gets round eventually to Michelangelo
>>and [a sense that] beauty from his age andours {?}
>>could [not have long to go], as levity continues to grow.
>>
>>Michael and Joe from further down the street
>>repeat the wisdom [they have learnt], so sweet,{?}
>>repeat the words to a drum, its electronic beat
>>contrary to each heart it comes to meet.
>>
>>Outside the door the classes chatter [among themselves]
>>[though the boundary between each one never closes]{doesn't this deserve a
>>better image?}.
>>
>>Leonardo, the storekeeper, knows of greater wisdom,
>>though only in sound bites and hourly newsflashes.
>>Michael and Joe make their passes at girls as they talk,
>>come and go {oh g**, it's those women again} in short dresses, exchange
>>all
>>the gossip they know.
>>
>>Uneasy minds make blue sky thoughts {good}, [force issues as they
>>talk]{does this need repeating},
>>talk, talk and pretend they know as much as Michelangelo.
>>Round and round they go as night follows another day
>>and nothing will go away until talk returns to Michelangelo.
>>
>>bw
>>James
>>
>>
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>
>
>
>Perpetua Pullman
>
>
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bw
James
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