Hi Sue,
I've done an edit, you may say hatchet job, on your poem below rather than
say the many things that would need to be said here. Hope it helps.
>From: Sue Scalf <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: newish: Love Out of Season, Out of Time
>Date: Fri, 18 Jan 2002 23:40:22 EST
>
>Your comments are welcome and appreciated!
>
>Love Out of Time, Out of Season
>
>
>Remember the fountain,
>how water splashed and played,
>made thin cascades of sound,
>and all around, moon -lamps
>made larger moons
>than the small one
>hooked above upon a cloud
>in a sky, cerulean, rain-clean,
>in the broken branch
>of a pear tree, a scepter of blossoms,
>wet and frothy with spring.
>
>Life determines what limb will break
>and who shall love or never will,
>the vagaries of time and place,
>seasons out of season,
>the places we visit but never belong---
>
>all this and just some little wisp of song
>like a whistle in the night
>when someone walks down a dark street,
>hands in his pockets,
>and sees pear trees in rain.
>
>
>Sue Scalf
>
>http://www.members.aol.com/poetscalf
bw
James
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