Philip,
maybe it is my long nights of study these days trying to think in 3D, I
don't know
I 've read this more than several times and now even the new version
is........
right over my head. I like most of your writing so far
and I was wondering could you explain this one to me.....please
davidc
Philip Burton wrote:
> Thanks for all crits.. Here goes....2nd draft....
>
> Son of the Surf
>
> Proud as a damson - Finistral Bay
> high on lawns and Michaelmas daisy
> her links and shales stiff with valerian
> and ancient youths, expectant
> as new-laid mothers.
>
> Surf is not up - there are tales though
> ebbing, dreams for the tongue
> honed and waxed and sun-turned
> tsunamis of the third, maybe fourth, kind
> tunnels through foam
> tunnels through time
> tunnels home.
>
> A tellerman dips his voice
> paddling the tale of the cool death
> of one who, capped by undercurrent
> and the surface unattainable,
> had scratched on his Malabu
> the fingernail epitaph
>
> sonofabitch
>
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