Thanks for the feedback, as always, Ian. I appreciate your comments, you
know. :)

CW, Mary :O)

--- Ian F <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Hi Maryann and Happy New Year,
>
> Thorughly enjoyed this one. It's a style that I've tried and failed
> miserably to adopt in a couple of my poems, but they always seem to
> go the other way - tight start and all over the place by the end.
>
> Hard won battle here and well worth the read.
>
> Cheers
> Ian
>
>  --- Maryann Hazen-Stearns <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > Hi there
> Folks,
> >
> > Have some fun with this one...I've no explanation for the thing:
> >
> > ~*~
> >
> > Lunch In The Nude
> >
> >
> > In the time it's taken to open
> > my eyes, a dozen first-lines
> > have come and gone. I'm spent -
> > we're spent, you're snoring,
> > from mid-night
> > stoking, stroking and poking
> > which is another unfit intro-line
> > demoted to center page
> > only slightly above;
> >
> > as the sun beats down upon my face
> > because in fact, there is no sun today.
> > I believe that line is an after-affect
> > from the influence of Led Zeppelin's
> > Kashmir rhythm. It is overcast.
> >
> > I sit in dry-skin nudeness
> > on a warm veranda with orange slices,
> > almond granola, and sweetened tea
> > scrappling with first lines
> > that aren't fit
> > to open my eyes,
> > said the Poet
> >
> > reaching for the rum,
> > which is a far better line
> > to begin with
> > and definitely improves
> > the tea - let's see:
> >
> > Reaching for the rum
> > I sit in dry-skin nudeness
> > as the sun beats down upon my face.
> > In the time it's taken to open
> > my eyes, a dozen first-lines
> > have come and gone,
> > and I'm spent,
> > said the Poet.
> >
> > There is no sun today
> > but there's a first line
> > and that's a damn fine title too.
> >
> > ~*~
> >
> > Cheerwell, Mary :O)
> >
> >
> >
> > =====
> > Good Cheer & Be Well,
> > Maryann Hazen-Stearns
> > "Under The Limbo Stick"
> > http://www.geocities.com/Faerhart/
> > also available at these locations:
> > http://www.vivisphere.com  http://www.amazon.com
> >
> > __________________________________________________
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>
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=====
Good Cheer & Be Well,
Maryann Hazen-Stearns
"Under The Limbo Stick"
http://www.geocities.com/Faerhart/
also available at these locations:
http://www.vivisphere.com  http://www.amazon.com

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Send your FREE holiday greetings online!
http://greetings.yahoo.com