Marilyn
I'll experiment with your suggestions. Thanks a lot
BW
Christine
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Marilyn Injeyan [SMTP:[log in to unmask]]
> Sent: 29 October 2002 00:39
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: sub-why?
>
> In a message dated 10/25/02 11:37:43 AM Pacific Standard Time,
> [log in to unmask] writes:
>
> Christine,
> I am intrigued by this poem, the surreal images of the toad, bead, spider
> and snake.
> A few suggestions: I wonder if you need to repeat the first line
> throughout the poem.
> For me it's enough to use it once. As has been already said, a title with
> more punch. Also, I don't think the last line is necessary, stronger
> without. Great images of the animals as metaphors for relationships.
>
> Marilyn
>
>
>
>
> Why?
>
> Why risk your arm with a greedy lover?
> A toad would love you better,
> sit grinning by your side,
> hear your murmurs to the wind.
>
> Why risk your arm with a greedy lover?
> A bear would dance you round
> nuzzle your ear, bristle up close,
> snuffle the lines in your hand.
>
> Why risk your arm with a greedy lover?
> Spiders would spin you a dream,
> to hurl you, wild-eyed, into the night,
> leave you in silken bonds.
>
> Why risk your arm with a greedy lover?
> A snake would swallow its tail,
> shed skins to make you shoes,
> draw crazed circles in your mind.
>
> No, best give me your arm;
> I eat well, don't need
> to devour the hands I hold:
> we two are of a kind.
>
>
>
>
>
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