Hi Michi,
There was a lot that I liked in this poem, tone and images. I´ve read through some of the other comments and I disagree with those that have suggested making cuts in the opening stanza. I think cuts would destroy the lilting, dreamy rhythm that you have established. The fullstop at the end of S1 should go and I suspect its actually a typo. My difficulty with this piece is that, like another reader, I have a literal mind, at least partially, and so I look for some unifying element in the images. The atmosphere is certainly consistent, but I feel that if you could give the reader more idea of why you have selected certain images and how they are connected, the poem would be more powerful. There were images that I loved - the swimming pools, the wind curling up in the drained pools - but there were other lines that I could nothing from. That may have been my obtuseness, of course.
Best wishes, Mike
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