Thanks for these positive comments, Michi. You don't have a problem with the
first line of each stanza?
BW
Christine

-----Original Message-----
From: michaela a. gabriel
To: [log in to unmask]
Sent: 27/10/02 08:48
Subject: Re: sub-why?

christine,

some terrifc images / lines here, and you are getting better by the
stanza.
i particularly like the "snake" stanza, and the "silken bonds".

my only nit is the title which i think could be stronger, kind of hint
at
what the poem is about. "why?" seems too vague, nondescript.

best wishes,

michi




> Dear All
> Comments please
> BW
> Christine
>
> Why?
>
> Why risk your arm with a greedy lover?
> A toad would love you better,
> sit grinning by your side,
> hear your murmurs to the wind.
>
> Why risk your arm with a greedy lover?
> A bear would dance you round
> nuzzle your ear, bristle up close,
> snuffle the lines in your hand.
>
> Why risk your arm with a greedy lover?
> Spiders would spin you a dream,
> to hurl you, wild-eyed, into the night,
> leave you in silken bonds.
>
> Why risk your arm with a greedy lover?
> A snake would swallow its tail,
> shed skins to make you shoes,
> draw crazed circles in your mind.
>
> No, best give me your arm;
> I eat well, don't need
> to devour the hands I hold:
> we two are of a kind.
>
>
>
> chrisbousfield October 2002