Thanks Sally and I think I agree-I'm cudgelling my brains for a better one
BW
Christine
-----Original Message-----
From: Sally Evans
To: [log in to unmask]
Sent: 26/10/02 21:26
Subject: Re: sub-why?
This is interesting, and personally I like lines 2, 3, and 4 of each
stanza
best. If you are using a continual repeat line I think it needs to be a
very
strong, tight line. I'm just not sure whether you have the right line.
bw
SallyE
on 25/10/02 8:18 pm, Bousfield, Christine [CES] at [log in to unmask]
wrote:
> Dear All
> Comments please
> BW
> Christine
>
> Why?
>
> Why risk your arm with a greedy lover?
> A toad would love you better,
> sit grinning by your side,
> hear your murmurs to the wind.
>
> Why risk your arm with a greedy lover?
> A bear would dance you round
> nuzzle your ear, bristle up close,
> snuffle the lines in your hand.
>
> Why risk your arm with a greedy lover?
> Spiders would spin you a dream,
> to hurl you, wild-eyed, into the night,
> leave you in silken bonds.
>
> Why risk your arm with a greedy lover?
> A snake would swallow its tail,
> shed skins to make you shoes,
> draw crazed circles in your mind.
>
> No, best give me your arm;
> I eat well, don't need
> to devour the hands I hold:
> we two are of a kind.
>
>
>
> chrisbousfield October 2002
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