Hi Ryfkah,
A bitter tasting poem. But it can't be otherwise.
I'm wondering if the phrase "so long ago when" is needed? Wouldn't the two
words Vietnam & Napalm (or a shorter phrase to link the words, perhaps just
a word... like "where" work easier (or are you worried about the sounds of
"Nam/ Napalm/man" then being too close together...)
For a non-baseball-person the title "World Series" speaks volumes too!
Bob
>From: Ryfkah * <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: SC#41/World Series?
>Date: Fri, 11 Oct 2002 23:05:40 EDT
>
>SC #41/World Series?
>
>The Angels flap their wings
>score another run
>The one-legged man dances
>his blood-gloved hand waves
>in ecstasy
>like sex
>birth
>sacred mushrooms
>fasting
>near-death
>rebirth
>
>Vietnam
>so long ago when Napalm
>decimated
>The one-legged man
>then able-bodied
>high on dope
>low on hope
>A girl-child of twelve
>darted in front of his fire
>died
>on national evening news
>
>The game ties
>The one-legged man
>eats his second ballpark dog
>drinks his fourth beer
>
>A seagull slides over the stadium
>transforms into a girl in burning
>Vietnamese village
>The Angels lose
>
>Ryfkah 10-11-02
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