Hi Phillip,

Some thoughts,

S2 - 'years/were given' I had a bit of trouble with 'given' - doesn't feel 
right. I know what you mean, but wonder if there isn't a more interesting 
way of phrasing it. The following line implies investment and relates to the 
notion of free gift as well, but I'd still prefer a different term - not 
that it matters LOL.

S3, I'm wondering about the term 'throw off' - same kind of thing a sabove - 
the term doesn't conjure for me. Also, why would the capacity to call have 
any bearing on altitude?

later there is the reference to a 'preternatural day' - I feel the need for 
explanation in the poem of what made the day preternatural, otherwise it's 
just a word (to me at least).

There's a good story in this piece, but I think it mihght need some heavy 
trimming to get down to the meat and potatoes of it. I haven't read other 
responses, so I may be one-off, in any case follow your own course with it.

Cheers,

Frank


>   The Herring Gull                                  PHILIP BURTON
>
>
>When days were young
>I’d rig a hide, out on the rocks
>at the heels of the ebb tide
>and be with herring gulls.
>
>Summer years
>were given to the task
>with no return but the ocean
>and finding my calmer side.
>
>Unwinding from the bobbin sky
>the birds threw off
>high tuba calls
>without sacrifice of altitude.
>
>Forty shades of green meat
>failed to feed a single beak.
>Gulls dipped and rose as though
>a glass floor kept them.
>
>
>Then, one preternatural day
>in the mid oven of noon
>tamely on stiff skin legs
>a herring gull came.
>
>A vestige of line strayed
>from the loud sunshine beak
>and, no question mark,
>a fishing-hook
>
>had snared her craw.
>Something must have said,
>Go to that man down there -
>he’s mad, but means okay.
>
>I didn’t ask the vet
>what procedure had to say
>but watched the claws ease
>as the steel was drawn away.
>
>When I’m down or ill
>I stretch my arms and hear
>a trumpeting of skies
>and strong wings rising.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>_________________________________________________________________
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The Tales of Faust poetry page can be found at: 
http://www.hotkey.net.au/~flp/F_index.htm


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