Hi Grassy,
As the saying goes this is a winner. We all post for crits so my only one
would be to leave out the short end stanza and keep the tension going. I
feel this ending is like a happy ending in a fairy story, it was all a dream
and the monster isn't real after all. Otherwise great stuff and enjoyed
creeping around in the crawlspace.
bw
James


>From: grasshopper <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New sub: Crawlspace
>Date: Sat, 28 Sep 2002 18:37:25 +0100
>
>
>    Crawlspace
>
>When I dream,
>my house has an extra storey,
>reached by a narrow trapdoor
>and tunnel that involves
>a twist of body.
>There are no windows
>and a lamp is still burning
>from an old black and white film
>I saw as a  child.
>The mustard bulb is too dim
>to light the corners.
>.
>I do not like to ascend
>to that top storey
>but the dream always
>twists me in its tale
>and makes me climb.
>Upstairs there are people
>I know well but would not
>recognise awake,
>familiars of sleep -they know
>my secrets and weak spots
>in the floor.
>
>I think of the strait turn
>down towards the safety
>of the lower storeys.
>I think when I wake
>I will not know these faces,
>these fears, but they always wait
>for another night, nearer
>the roof, in the rooms
>the day destroys.
>
>Sometimes I sit up late,
>cradling a warm drink
>trying not to listen as the clock
>counts up the stairs.
>
>                          grasshopper




bw
James


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