Gary, this is a sad and graphic story of a marriage ruined by cruelty and
addiction. It is very understated. I enjoyed it and have no important
suggestions. You might consider cutting the line where you have used prison
for the third time. This bit of tightening might help, although this is a
very condensed poem that leaves much open for the reader. Sue
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Prisons Where We Find Them
The world may see pink walls
and sunflower yellow floors
but we've built a prison, gray
and inescapable as Alcatraz
and hid the cellblock key
behind quick smiles
and easy laughter.
Memories and regrets
do a prison make
as if carved from granite and brass
and laid in measured rows
bedrock welded into living earth
deeper than the Temple Mount.
We are as restrained
by first recollections,
strands of immature thread,
as from coils of hemp
crafted from the debris of adult living -
first unattended fall
unexpected slap
broken toy
withheld gift
slight
sand and ash and mortar
dredged by drunken rage
broken bones and cracked skulls
death
predictable cruelty
confirmation
Do you believe in rehabilitation? >>
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