Dear Frank,
To me the first part reads rather like an exercise in describing the
fountain in rather prosaic, geometrical terms and seeing if you can avoid it
being boring--but I'm afraid it did strike me as a bit boring. The poem only
comes to life for me at the lines:
that strikes the surrounding pool
with its stray handful of well-wished coins.
and I think it was too much of a plod to reach them.
I would start the poem from:
water streams from the cap of the upper level
and still trim a bit from the opening of that stanza.
Kind regards,
grasshopper
----- Original Message -----
From: "Frank Faust" <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, September 17, 2002 6:39 AM
Subject: sub - study of a canberra fountain
> at first glance it seems a christmas tree
> rising from short trunk
> widening then climbing to apex and point
> water cascading down the circular sides
>
> it is in fact a diamond inverted
> triangular metal bars ascending to points
> level upon level
> a splay pattern of hexagonal facets
>
> water streams from the cap of the upper level
> down the metal tubes to a gutter
> channels to the next cap
> down metal tubes to gutter
> through three levels
> then slides facet to air
> forming breaking and re-forming unsupported triangles
> that start wide then narrow to a thin stream
> that strikes the surrounding pool
> with its stray handful of well-wished coins
> lapping gently past the reaching hand of a small child
> draped across the brickwork barrier
> before rising again through the trunk toward the apex peak
>
> the mother has risen now
> time to journey on
> within the movement of transient shoppers in a misted background
> that forms sub-text to the constant
> of cascading water
> in the endless cycle of a fountain in the square
> of the canberra centre
> ~
>
> Frank
> ~
>
>
> The Tales of Faust poetry page can be found at:
> http://www.hotkey.net.au/~flp/F_index.htm
>
>
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