Hi Gary,
This is reminscent of Gary Snyder's reflective pieces for me! I'm still
letting the word "commonality" sink into me. It's a fine word! The whole
poem opens up my own wishes for days that can be as open and undisturbed
(Oh, I remember them... but, dammit, that's all I can do - remember them,
not have them NOW!).
Does the title need the word, then a comma, then 3 words that seem to flow
into the first line? I always find titles really difficult (and I even
change them when the poem feels as if it belongs alongside/before/after
another poem or two. Could this poem be one where it might need some help
from another poem before it finds itself altogether complete?
I also guess the second book is called "essays on poetics" and the third one
is called "man and nature" - and I'd be tempted to put a comma between the
two titles if that's the case (or use Caps, perhaps, for the titles? Or just
start each of the book title words with Caps?)
In fact, like Christina, I find I'm adding full stops and commas (with my
mind's eye) when I'm reading it through... because I noticed the one's that
were there and so added the missing ones!
Bob
>From: Gary B <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Commonality, Day by Day
>Date: Tue, 20 Aug 2002 19:06:03 -0700
>
>Commonality, Day by Day
>
>
>
>despite my low-salt diet
>
>rice, beans and tamales
>
>the meal commonly sought
>
>when I dine alone
>
>
>
>in front of me, a book
>
>purchased for I've none with me
>
>one of three: US history, essays
>
>on poetics and man and nature
>
>
>
>a quotation on page 4 noted --
>
>Poetry is the sleepy weed,
>
>The dumb, the sick and the dizzy need.*
>
>page 134 marked with stray beans.
>
>
>
>books and a heavy meal
>
>the commonality of days alone
>
>
>
>*EB White, HL Mencken Meets a Poet in the West Side YMCA
>
>
>
>(The book is Stealing Glimpses, Molly McQuade, Sarabande Books.)
>Aug Chuck and Centrum at: http://gardawg.homestead.com/gardawg.html
>
>*New* Wild/Eliot Hyperpoem at: http://wildhyper.homestead.com/front.html
>
>Poets for Peace. ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
>
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