I find a little too much confusion of rhythms here, for the long line. At
first it sounds a bit like Chestertons 'but I dont care where the water gets
if it doesnt get into the wine' (or is that Kipling?) but after a line or
three it doesnt fit that rhythm so you have to start again. I'd actually
like beat marks on a piece like this to show me how I'm supposed to read it.
bw
SallyE
on 15/8/02 11:08 am, Bob Cooper at [log in to unmask] wrote:
> Another for C & C
> with very long lines and the words between asterix being words in italics:
>
> In Big Steve’s Empty Wallet
>
> We were all well dressed as well as well pissed and Sandra had shouted, *Hey
> Steve,
> stop smiling so loud,* then she ruffled my hair and I just grinned and
> glanced elsewhere -
> the rattle and hum of the sweeper’s machine, him whistling as he hoovered
> things up -
> and me in that suit - 250 quid - the silk shirt, patent leather shoes. And
> the way we crowded closer
> then how we all turned sideways, moved apart and continued to talk. But
> here,
> here in my wallet, we’re still here: focused, forever wide-mouthed, waiting
> for the flash.
>
> Bob Cooper
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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