Hi Ryfkah,
I like the notion of combing the language and imagary of a nuclear reaction
to a human relationship. The invisibility and guardedness of nuclear fission
and fusion then all the consequences of the reaction... It's a powerful
allusion!
But I sort of wish I could relate it more to the objects and what's going on
in the bulk of the poem. It's as if everything gets to be too ordinary...
Too Country & Western and no longer people with specialised knowledge about
things most of don't know. If the final image of:
"the rod goes in comes out
>energy radiates
>stops again pulsates"
is (merely) a metaphor for having sex then I feel disappointed! There seems
much more energy (danger, caution, anger, unstopability) in the notion of a
nuclear reaction than the poem's drawing on or revealing.
The ending:
"into millennia
> water burns"
seems as tho it needs some justification in what the rest of the poem is
saying, because those words are saying so much!
Bob
>From: Ryfkah * <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Reaction
>Date: Sun, 11 Aug 2002 23:18:40 EDT
>
>Reaction
>
> thermoluminescence
>the water deep green
>shadowed as the beginning
>energy conceives light
>
>I listen to your voice
> I won't be home
> a flat tire
> missed my plane
>Night somber like sorrow
>I curl in our bed
>the half-moon my lover
>
> I have to work late
> I'll bring home a birthday cake
>On the frontroom couch
>I drowse Grandma's rainbow throw
>embraces mind's grayness
>The sun angles through shabby curtains
>I go to the window your car not there
>worry you've had an accident
>
>You pack your clothes
>prints and books
>I bleed until I cry
>All I ever did wrong
>was love too much
>
>Our wedding bouquet pressed
>between photo album pages
>I make a pile of old lives to toss
>your pictures a few trip souvenirs
>an early anniversary gift
>a white honeymoon peignoir
>
>the rod goes in comes out
>energy radiates
>stops again pulsates
>into millennia
> water burns
>
>Ryfkah 7-11-02
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