Hi Arthur,
If it's so "specialised" in its use (one TV programme and the specialist
trade of workers in Casualty Wards) it might be one of those poems that
needs a footnote when it appears on paper. If you were to read it to a
gathering of nurses, however, it wouldn't need explaining.
Bob


>From: arthur seeley <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: new Sub: R.T.A.
>Date: Sun, 11 Aug 2002 12:38:06 +0100
>
>Hi Bob thanks for the read and comments.. RTA is probably very special
>jargon in the hospital and police services I'm not sure. To be perfectly
>honest I picked it up watching Casualty and didn't know what it meant
>myself
>for some time.Regards Arthur.
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Bob Cooper" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Sunday, August 11, 2002 12:05 PM
>Subject: Re: new Sub: R.T.A.
>
>
>Hi Arthur,
>The style seems appropriate to the subject: a sort of gaze around at
>details
>that are diffult to piece together because we don't want to (it's so
>difficult to) put them together...
>The spaces in the lines, and between the lines, seem significant to the
>poem.
>The phrase "descending pallour" seems awkward to me - tho it's difficult to
>say why... I think the word "descending" feels too clinical and objective
>whereas "fluttering" and the unthreaded belt seem to male me feel far
>closer
>to the person... The "failing chain of breath" doesn't feel anything like
>as
>awkward - perhaps because it comes nearer the end of the poem and we then
>look away at the sun.
>Is RTA an acronym that's used beyond the ambulance & police services? I've
>not got it in any dictionary I've got (including Brewer's that's fairly
>good
>with these things). Now I know it I doubt if I'll forget it. But, before I
>read the poem, I didn't know it.
>Bob
>
>
> >From: arthur seeley <[log in to unmask]>
> >Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
> >To: [log in to unmask]
> >Subject: new Sub: R.T.A.
> >Date: Thu, 8 Aug 2002 15:16:36 +0100
> >
> >R.T.A.
> >
> >bloom of blood                 's thick glitter
> >
> >grazed and stubbled jaw            dark clotting beads
> >
> >
> >
> >fringed lids flutter        descending pallor
> >
> >unthreaded belt yawns              incoherent limbs
> >
> >
> >
> >failing chain of breath          shadows from a spring sun
> >
> >a shoe                                     in broken daffodils
> >
> >
> >D.O.A.
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
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