Thanks for your comments Bob. I am in a learning mode with haiku., as
perhaps I am with all my work. However I have a bit of a mind-set which I
have to overcome, which is that I see what I have submitted here as similar
to pages from a sketchbook, thoughts for larger things, and yet they are
not, they are complete and finished. I have to reconcile that little paradox
if I can.Regards Arthur.

----- Original Message -----
From: "Bob Cooper" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, August 06, 2002 1:48 PM
Subject: Re: Haiku


> I've been reading these with a lot of pleasure, Arthur...
> And I've been reading the comments about the craft of such poems as well.
> I like the way the way you've got some to work without metaphor and some
to
> be altogether metaphor. The first is simple (and very good) yet the one's
> that work with fireworks and boulders trundling down corridors are louder
> (is that because of their strong metaphors, too?).
> The one that works least for me (where, I guess it's the metaphor that
> doesn't work too well) is the one about the sparrows... I sort of have to
> stretch my mind a long way to get into a weaving shed (where I see lots of
> shuttles, lots of noise, lots of activity... and I sort of get a glimpse
of
> those shoals of starlings that would darken late afternoon skies in
cities!
> So, and it may just be me, I find the link, at a deeper level than what's
> visual in the moment, difficult to make).
> The others, tho, open up all kinds of reflective open space in my head.
> Yeh, what I really like is the way each works as a kind of announcement;
the
> way each becomes an invitation for the image you've written to linger
(and,
> sometimes, to change) long after the words have been read. Such openness
> works well with me.
> Bob
>
>
> >From: arthur seeley <[log in to unmask]>
> >Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
> >To: [log in to unmask]
> >Subject: Haiku
> >Date: Sun, 4 Aug 2002 10:04:22 +0100
> >
> >John and Gary I visited the site you gave me, very interesting and
> >enlightening. There seems no syllabic count as such. I seem to be getting
> >the idea. So herewith some Haiku...........I think!
> >
> >
> >
> >             i
> >wind shakes leaves
> >hills grey under rain
> >      beyond       the sun
> >
> >             ii
> >ragged sea
> >gulls rend at a dead crab
> >waves fuss and tidy
> >
> >             iii
> >
> >laughter
> >blooms and flutes
> >wind through long grass
> >
> >             iv
> >forest gloom
> >raindrops
> >star along leaves
> >
> >             v
> >fungus coats a dead twig
> >with viridian life
> >                   footsteps behind me
> >
> >             vi
> >sparrows shuttle
> >weft
> >warps of light
> >weave the morning
> >
> >             vii
> >gala
> >fireworks flower
> >in the garden of night
> >
> >             viii
> >boulders of thunder
> >trundle
> >down corridors of sky
> >
> >            ix
> >wind chimes
> >announce
> >enter     the rain
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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