Thanks for all of this , John, and the site address.
I was going to say that the haiku asks for the words to be stripped down to
the skeleton but that is not true, it is really cutting away the flab and
leaving the muscle.  regards Arthur
----- Original Message -----
From: "John Carley" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, August 04, 2002 1:26 PM
Subject: Re: Haiku (with Qs for Gary and JC)


> Very astute comments from Terri about the level of metaphor in haiku -
> overt metaphor tends to be too imposing for such a short form: the same
> thing goes for most figures of speech - the danger is that the horse
> becomes the rider - though sometimes one can use a trope by subverting it:
> --
> the lambs leap up   like foolish children
>                  unaware   they are sheep
>
> Terrie asks about 'viridian' in Arthur's poem. Historically haiku do not
> use 'high' register. Again, the danger is that a word can dominate it's
> context. It rather depends of course on what is 'high register'.
>
> fungus coats a dead twig
> with viridian life
>                   footsteps behind me
>
>
> Here I would be tempted to remove 'dead'. 'Twig' already tends to ideas of
> meagreness, and I think the direct statement 'life' gives us 'dead' by
> suggestion.
>
> fungus coats a twig
> with viridian life
>                   footsteps behind me
>
> 'Viridian'... Maybe 'virid' simplifies the word and eases the cadence. In
> truth, given that we know the actual nature of the life (fungal) one might
> argue that it is the intensity rather than the colour which is crucial.
> Which might yield something like:
>
> fungus coats a twig
> with vivid life
>                   footsteps behind me
>
>
> Yes Arthur, the syllable count is variable in the style that is currently
> mainstream. At 14 this latter draft is a typical length - the range being
> commonly 11 to 15 syllables.
>
> Many Japanese schools, by contrast, maintain that the idea of strict form
> ('teikei') is fundamental to the aesthetics of the genre. The distance
> between the Japanese and mainstream English language forms may be judged
> from the fact that in excess of 90% of Japanese do not believe that haiku
> can be written in English.
>
> It's perhaps relevant that the Japanese haiku is written as one unbroken
> line (or column). The division 5/7/5 is metrical and has nothing
whatsoever
> to do with 'lines' of meaning in the occidental sense. In so far as a poem
> may be divided into semantic segments the Japanese haiku typically has
two.
> One bitter cynic (ok, it was me) commented that by adopting a three line
> layout, the venerable fathers of the English language haiku (Zen tourists
> like Blyth and Henderson) had succeeded in throwing away the burger and
> eating the napkin.
>
> Fortunately making enemies doesn't bother me.
>
> Best wishes, John