Goldfinch bends a bough.
Somewhere laughter blooms and flutes.
Wind through the long grass.
Arthur, the standard convention is 5 7 5 count, but increasingly in English
haiku (no s), 5 7 5 is being abandoned for a couple of reasons. First is
that generally, Japanese translates in less count in English. Normally, by
two for 3 5 3. Second, there often is a forced feel to 5 7 5 English haiku.
Very little of it feels smooth and if you will of the moment.
You might consider the above is less count
goldfinch bows
wind through long grass
laughter flutes
though I sure you can do better.
Thanks.
Gary
July Stazja and new Gary at: http://gardawg.homestead.com/gardawg.html
*New* Wild/Eliot Hyperpoem at: http://wildhyper.homestead.com/front.html
Poets for Peace. ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
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