as I said to Gary, Frank, is the idea to try and mimic TS Eliot?

My problem with that is he can be a bit of a 'quotable quote a line' poet
and the risk of examining one line, especially a rich one, is it can end up
going over the same image rather than saying anything new.

your poem is rich and descriptive but i don't get a feeling that you are
really there in the scene, until the last two lines, which are great

P-P


>From: Frank Faust <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Hyper-sub - no, not the old city
>Date: Tue, 15 Jan 2002 12:39:55 +1100
>
>(my line = 'streets that follow like a tedious argument')
>
>... and the old city is a wasting of time     there is nothing of value
>there
>no return on that investment     those twenty years of purgatude
>spent with an aspirational heart    every day     from the beginning
>when to walk that way was something fresh and new     each pace
>holding its own speed and reason     much like here     perhaps
>here     in this newer place     with this newer purpose
>so draped with the coatings     now     of experience     knowledge
>perhaps it is not the purpose that has changed     not so very much
>
>this though     this is not that ancient wreckage     with its labyrinth
>byways
>foetid distractions     those twisted streets that follow like a tedious
>argument
>renewed upon boulevards and avenues that open      yawning black
>in sickly      honeyed     invitation with each tempted visitation to that
>past     no
>this is newer ground     these paths are fresh and open     look up
>that blue is the sky     in this place it is mine     yours     ours     if
>you wish it
>you and me     and the coloured blue of our own sky
>
>no     let us not go near to the old city
>there is nothing there for us      nothing
>
>~
>Frank
>
>
>
>The Tales of Faust poetry page can be found at:
>http://www.hotkey.net.au/~flp/F_index.htm
>
>
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Perpetua Pullman


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