Hi Garry,

I like the idea behind the poem, a kind of wander through a family album.
The points you choose to include are interestingly pertinent. I'm in two
camps about whether the line breaks between [relation] and poem work or not.
Some read throughs, I like them. Others, they seem a little too contrived or
clever. Just mho. Some suggs:


The Father Poem

I have no father
poem.  Blood or step.

I have no mother
poem, though I should.
She made magic
and spoke her mind. ## drop "and"

I have a grandfather
poem,  the one where his barn ## drop "the one"
burns, when he no longer
owns the barn.

I have a grandmother
poem, but then I should.  She
was a saint and raised seventeen children
in a carrot patch. ## I think this is the weakest stanza. It makes me think
of cabbage patch dolls and at that point, I lose it :) Maybe: I have a
grandmother / poem, of course. A saint, / she raised seventeen children / on
[something]"

I have started a poem
about my children. ## I would join these two stanzas together.

They will not write a father
poem.

Port Townsend Writer's Conference.
July 13, 2002 revised

Bunny
"Sometimes a poem about a fish is just that - a poem about a fish."