thanks, Bob, Gary and everyone who liked my neologism
Do I need the first stanza? I think so. The idea that mere words can give
objective positivistic proof that 'we' exist let alone 'enjoy' is so at odds
with my postmodernist stance it must be irony, don't you think?
Is there any more about 'we'?
Yes, it is all about 'we'. Every word. Even Dyke.
Obviously doesn't work, though.
Maybe I should write crossword clues instead...
Terri )O(
-----Original Message-----
From: The Pennine Poetry Works [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On
Behalf Of Bob Cooper
Sent: 29 July 2002 12:09
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: sub: Redbrook
Hi Terri,
I once spent a couple of long summer days slowing up the Welsh borders,
listeing to slow rivers, and enjoying the coolness of driving the almost
empty past-midnight roads under a full moon... yeh...
But yr poem! Yr holiday/holidiary (interesting word mix that!).
Do you need the 1st stanza? The only two words that stand out for me are
"forest" and "sun."
There's also a sense of "my holidiary" and the poem includes "we" so is
there scope for... (anything more about we? or...)
Bob
>From: alderoak <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: sub: Redbrook
>Date: Sun, 28 Jul 2002 12:06:47 +0100
>
>Redbrook
>
>
>my holidiary has become
>a catalogue of then and then
>proof positive that we enjoyed
>the forest and the sun
>
>next to the Wye we took a break
>that hugged the skirts of Offa's Dyke
>parked in England drank in Wales
>and never walked the walk
>
>but wandered underground instead
>Clearwell Hopewell Puzzle Wood
>a glossary of ochre mines
>and iron streams of blood
>
>my holidiary has become
>a book-keeping of rivers swum
>scratches on a bag of clay
>it seals a teller's stones
>
>
>
>Terri )O(
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