Hi James,
A thought: I wondered if the last stanza appeared in the middle of this how
much more it could do as a poem?
In the way I read what's happening here, I sense there's more can yet happen
with the subtleties of playing around/re-drafting. It seems well worth a few
(unnoticed till you look-at-the-clock-when-you've-done) hours of work!
Bob


>From: James Bell <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New sub: Barges
>Date: Wed, 24 Jul 2002 07:54:38 +0000
>
>The is a second try at sending this one. The other one didn't seem to
>connect.
>
>BARGES
>
>Hulks held down by mooring ropes
>beached as the tide slips out
>down the estuary
>
>something to watch and do nothing about
>though they don't care
>as the hawsers tighten further
>
>as if they will sudenly
>rear up and kick an invisible keeper
>who is stronger than they
>
>and will merely remind them
>of this act of futility while
>their utter stillness begs defiance
>
>silent unmoveable anarchy
>sat on a flat sand bar
>they will wait for water to float
>
>fat flat hulls and renew
>some sense of free movement -
>not made for the high seas
>
>their willingness to slow sail
>the stuary is acceptable
>dumb humbleness and remember
>
>there are people like this
>who are mere carriers for the
>Queen of Egypt and others of her kind.
>
>
>
>bw
>James
>
>
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