Hi Maryann and Happy New Year,
Thorughly enjoyed this one. It's a style that I've tried and failed
miserably to adopt in a couple of my poems, but they always seem to
go the other way - tight start and all over the place by the end.
Hard won battle here and well worth the read.
Cheers
Ian
--- Maryann Hazen-Stearns <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > Hi there
Folks,
>
> Have some fun with this one...I've no explanation for the thing:
>
> ~*~
>
> Lunch In The Nude
>
>
> In the time it's taken to open
> my eyes, a dozen first-lines
> have come and gone. I'm spent -
> we're spent, you're snoring,
> from mid-night
> stoking, stroking and poking
> which is another unfit intro-line
> demoted to center page
> only slightly above;
>
> as the sun beats down upon my face
> because in fact, there is no sun today.
> I believe that line is an after-affect
> from the influence of Led Zeppelin's
> Kashmir rhythm. It is overcast.
>
> I sit in dry-skin nudeness
> on a warm veranda with orange slices,
> almond granola, and sweetened tea
> scrappling with first lines
> that aren't fit
> to open my eyes,
> said the Poet
>
> reaching for the rum,
> which is a far better line
> to begin with
> and definitely improves
> the tea - let's see:
>
> Reaching for the rum
> I sit in dry-skin nudeness
> as the sun beats down upon my face.
> In the time it's taken to open
> my eyes, a dozen first-lines
> have come and gone,
> and I'm spent,
> said the Poet.
>
> There is no sun today
> but there's a first line
> and that's a damn fine title too.
>
> ~*~
>
> Cheerwell, Mary :O)
>
>
>
> =====
> Good Cheer & Be Well,
> Maryann Hazen-Stearns
> "Under The Limbo Stick"
> http://www.geocities.com/Faerhart/
> also available at these locations:
> http://www.vivisphere.com http://www.amazon.com
>
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