Dear Ryfkah,
I had the same problem as others with the first line, but I'm also a little
puzzled by the phrase 'the woman's husband'. The woman has already been
implied in 'her bed', so I wondered why not simply 'her husband', as it
just seemed a bit awkward to me.
I feel this is a poem that cries out for punctuation:
Spread plum, the passion-flower
is how I would present the first line, for instance,but you may have some
particular reason for omitting punctuation.
Kind regards,
grasshopper
----- Original Message -----
From: "Bob Cooper" <[log in to unmask]>
>
Sent: Sunday, July 07, 2002 1:35 PM
Subject: Re: New: Passion and Other Flowers
> Hi Ryfkah,
> I think I, too, got confused with plum! I guess I thought of the fruit,
and
> (silly me) thought of squashed or smeared plums...
> The rest of the poem works really well... but it's a bit of a shame that
> "passion flower" is such an obvious name! (Some flowers have exotic/erotic
> sounding names that don't give so much away)
> Bob
>
>
> >From: Ryfkah * <[log in to unmask]>
> >Subject: New: Passion and Other Flowers
> >Date: Thu, 4 Jul 2002 14:52:47 EDT
> >
> >Passion and Other Flowers
> >
> >Spread plum the Passion Flower
> >postures by her bed in a shot glass
> >Morning finds closed petals
> >
> >A decade ago the woman's
> >husband left They made love
> >then he was gone forever
> >
> >In the yard Passion Flowers bloom
> >each petal caressed by the sun
> >their violet vivid against concrete
> >
> >Her lover probes in whispers
> >With kisses she unfolds
> >Sundown eclipses lavender
> >
> >Another bud opens
> >
> >Ryfkah 7/4/02
>
>
>
>
>
>
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