Hi Ryfkah,
This is fine. One little suggestion though. To help your architecture of
text, a phrase I've recently learnt, perhaps the line "Morning finds closed
petals" could be a single line stanza that would balance with the last line
of the poem.
bw
James
>From: Ryfkah * <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New: Passion and Other Flowers
>Date: Thu, 4 Jul 2002 14:52:47 EDT
>
>Passion and Other Flowers
>
>Spread plum the Passion Flower
>postures by her bed in a shot glass
>Morning finds closed petals
>
>A decade ago the woman's
>husband left They made love
>then he was gone forever
>
>In the yard Passion Flowers bloom
>each petal caressed by the sun
>their violet vivid against concrete
>
>Her lover probes in whispers
>With kisses she unfolds
>Sundown eclipses lavender
>
>Another bud opens
>
>Ryfkah 7/4/02
bw
James
_________________________________________________________________
MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos:
http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx
|