Thank you for your suggestions; I used plum instead of purple to avoid cliche.
kol tuv, Ryfkah
In a message dated 7/4/02 11:36:47 PM, [log in to unmask] writes:
<< The first line's problem for me, Ryfkah. I don't know what you mean until
I
work it out. It feels constructed and 'plum' doesn't give me a vivid picture
since plums come in many colours. I wonder whether you need the first stanza
at all? The poem works pretty well to me without it. What do you think?
bw
christina >>
|