Hi Gary,
I liked this poem in an instant! It's the sort of poem where "you know it's
really like that" is what you feel - which amazes me because the words about
spiders aren't what you/I expect to come across (I then have to start
thinking of all sorts of stories and songs, maybe about spiders and flies,
and phrases like 'caught in the web...'). But there's so many other
allusions to find in here as well (now, looking at the second lines of the
first two stanzas, I'm singing George Harrison's "Long & Winding Road"! -
thankfully rather quietly!). It's all subtle, clever.
Have you thought that you might delete the "no matter" in the second line of
each stanza and rely on a commas? If performed the "no matter" could be
said, but I'm thinking about how it appears. The shorter the poem, the more
choices, the harder the decisions.
Bob
>From: Gary B <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Journey
>Date: Thu, 20 Jun 2002 16:12:04 -0700
>
>Journey
>
>no matter how fine the thread
>no matter how high the bridge
>or swift the rapids
>
>no matter how tattered the web
>no matter how slick the road
>or strong the wind
>
>you complete the journey
>to return home
>with fumbled key in broken lock
>
>June Thomas and new Gar trash at: http://gardawg.homestead.com/gardawg.html
>
>*New* Wild/Eliot Hyperpoem at: http://wildhyper.homestead.com/front.html
>
>Poets for Peace. ˇPoemas sí, balas no!
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