Hi Ryfkah,
I think you've got the tug and swell, the ebb and flow, of things very
present in this poem. I hope I never lose the image of the sea "vaulting."
The only line that's awkward, for me, is
"I experience light infiltrate"
because I keep wanting to add things to some of it's words (maybe get it to
say "I experience light's infiltrations..." - if that's what it's getting
at!)
And the last line seems so right! "Invokes" is used such a powerfull word,
it seems nothing else can say what you've inferred.
Wow!
#Bob
>From: Ryfkah * <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Pennine Poetry Works <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: New Poem: Tides
>Date: Wed, 19 Jun 2002 23:45:36 EDT
>
>Tides
>
>and the sea ballet-dances from high to low
>
>Spring's green light skews to summer's golden halo
>Earth quakes the space shuttle's sonic boom
>Angels serenade bracken hills
>
>and the sea vaults from low to high
>
>It is my father's Yarzheit
>my mother's Yarzheit
>I remember forget never
>I express Kaddish to extol The Holy One
>If they could advise me when I am wrong
>if only their words could still be heard
>
>and the sea tilts from high to low
>
>The longest day of the year is here
>I experience light infiltrate
>The Jacaranda are almost bald
>old men they own few
>violet blooms Sorrow is my sister
>
>and the sea preaches from low to high
>
>The Gulf stampedes with hurricane
>Like a gray beard clouds surround
>Rain spills as manna from heaven
>All that yellows veers green
>
>and the sea invokes new beaches
>
>Ryfkah 6/19/02
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