Hi james,
Lovely little piece. Couple of thoughts:
S3 is strong on rhyme - seems inconsistent with rest of poem.
S5 has two occurrences of 'now' that might be looked at.
Cheers,
Frank
>THE GOOSE
>
>Today he stands at the water's edge
>and looks back down beyond
>his second winter on this estuary.
>
>A face fronted by an orange beak
>is not designed for subtle expression, though
>the way his head moves back and forth
>
>tells of an increasing melancholy.
>Small eyes search the sky
>for other traces of his kind passing by.
>
>Today his feathers glow more goose
>white than usual against the grey silver
>of river mud and sluggish water.
>
>His gait and gracelessness should
>not now be taken for a swan
>out of water. He now holds
>
>his head aloft to state "goose"
>and not hook necked down in the style
>of a too royal water bird.
>
>Goose and me understand how
>image or identity can be thwarted
>in a largely duck populated world
>
>when even the most baleful
>goose honk unleashed upon
>all those around can go unheard.
>
>James Bell
>
>
>
>bw
>James
>
>
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