Hiya james,
Good to see you back amongst the troops.
Couple of small things. 'He came across a bridge and wondered/if in
crossing' I wondered if the line break worked as it should in opening pair
of lines - seems like the pause at 'if' gets misplaced.
Wasn't sure of the connection between goosebumps and fair complexion - not a
big thing, though.
Spello in ratled.
Cheers and welcome back,
Frank
>EXIT PURSUED BY A BEAR
>
>He came across a bridge and wondered
>if in crossing
>it would be his exit
>in much the same way
>as Walt and Hart before him
>over Brooklyn
>for even here there was the crosswind
>that levelled diversity
>brought goosepimples
>to the most fair complexion
>and ratled the fabric of waterproofs
>to the extent that they were exposed
>above the thick stone parapets
>
>The bear was still some way behind
>and party to only a faint scent -
>just the way he liked it -
>though still could imagine
>the bulk of bone and flesh and fur and how
>it would lumber with true implacability
>across the tundra of his bare urban landscape
>to find him convinced
>that even crossing water would not make a difference
>
>He hesitated
>like many before
>and only saw the maw and the tooth and claw
>in the nick of time
>able to make his exit
>though still pursued
>over the bridge
>into later scenes and acts
>
>
>bw
>James
>
>
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